A change is coming

Pluto in the house of change, the Capricorn moon in the eleventh house of social circles and a power play between Jupiter and Pluto how could today not be an overwhelming success.  If this all seems like a bit of mumbo jumbo, perhaps it is, but in the last few years, I have checked my horoscope daily.  I scoured astrology sites, seeking not really answers, but positive messages to feed my day.  My daily routine consisted of waking at 4:30am, grabbing my phone and reading my daily tarot, daily horoscope and a daily message from the universe.  Once I had fed my brain with hopeful inspiration and affirmation I was able to hop out of bed and take the dog for a 5-mile walk.

Change is easy to make.  The challenge is staying the course.  Divorce is hard, emotions run high and it is important to find something that keeps you grounded and while reminding you to be grateful.  For me, it was starting my day with a message from the universe reminding me that in the whole scheme of things my problems were small and I was worth love.  I needed that reminder.  My self-confidence was shot after all my husband left me for another woman, and not only left me but flaunted the relationship for all to see. Openly he took her to lunch, dinner, trips, even Christmas parties all the while swearing he was faithful and that he wanted only me and our family.  Foolishly, I thought if I were thinner, sexier, more compliant, more available, less challenging, prettier, he would come home and all would be as I knew it.  As I look back, not only was I publicly humiliated, seen as a victim(poor Des), but I became a desperate 110 pound, 5’8″  woman, who traded in her brain to beg a man I wanted to leave for years to come home.  I know sounds weird, but it’s like I said change is easy, it’s the follow through – that’s a bitch!

I don’t know what happened, however, I do know when it happened – Friday, November 28, at 7:29pm on a ladder in the storeroom of Williams Sonoma folding hand wash Italian Linen napkins.  I was engaged in a disgusting desperate text conversation begging my ex to leave the bar where he was with his girlfriend and come home to me, his wife.  As he shot back, “I can’t help it she’s here” to “I’ll see who I want”, I took a quick self-inventory and thought, “ok, you do that.  I’m done.”  And as simple as that it was over for me, I never looked back or regretted my decision.  What I did regret was that I didn’t do it sooner.  The universe had sent me messages for years and I kept my blinders on because change is hard and scary and the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.

Thank goodness, that despite the constant beat down from my ex and the feelings of self-worthlessness as he gallivanted around town, I was receiving small daily email reminders that I was worth it, that I had value and more importantly strength.  I woke that morning feeling good, I didn’t break any eggshells yet and read my love and couples horoscope, Mercury was going to make me realize a few deep truths regarding the psychology of my partner or the motivation that pushes the relationship forward. Maybe you will also find out a secret… for Pisces people it was a full, significant period, which would lead to a situation that requires a decision to be made.

Little did I know that my brain grabbed the fullness of this statement as I flipped the switch.  So do I believe Mercury made me do it, or that Saturn impacted my life? No, but what I do believe is that even in the darkness of divorce daily uplifting messages, positive affirmations or whatever affect your psyche.  For me, it was a reminder to be kind to myself and to be grateful for the gifts I had(family and friends). I no longer NEED to start my day with these messages, but I still receive them and today looks promising

Pisces horoscope for today August 4, 2017

A possible change in direction might arise today. You could meet someone new or run into someone you haven’t seen in a while who offers you a chance to change careers. Or it could become clear that you need to pursue your art or hobby full time. Whichever it is, Pisces, this is a great day to pursue it, even if you have doubts. Your past accomplishments afford you an advantage.

For your sign, click on the tree of life changesIMG_5307

About 1stdaydiflife

Who am I? I am just a woman who fell in love at 21. I am a woman who bought hook, line and sinker into the 1990"s hype that I could have it all. A woman whose intention was to be a loving and supportive wife, mother and successful career woman. I am just a woman who could only be the best me doing two of the three at any given time. My 3 beautiful children were and are always the first part of the equation.
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