What is your size? Mine is happy. Finally, joy after years of quiet acquiescence and resentment to the most ridiculous divorce ever.
One would have thought we were the Rockefellers clawing for every gold bar. Nope, just a simple family with a small business, finally enjoying some of the fruits of our labors, preparing for empty nesting. I guess once the business of being married and juggling family started to wane. We were left alone with each other the issues in our relationship glared angrily at us like an unwanted neon sign.
Size matters. We couldn’t avoid it any longer. As the imminent possibility of divorce increased my appetite decreased…. and decreased. I measured my happiness by my dress size and at a size zero, I was miserable. I skeletoned through the drudgery of life, attempting to extricate from the game playing that had become our relationship and trying to force a new life. Truth was, I had given up control of my life so many years ago. I really didn’t trust myself, I was always Mrs. XXX, or mom, and now I had to be ME.
When I finally let go and stopped trying to control every aspect, remarkable things happened. First, love came into my life, but this love was different. It was a love for myself, self-respect and self-care. I began to nurture myself and put me first and I don’t mean just by trips to the spa. This was different, anytime negative talk entered my mind, I reminded myself to be kind, cut me a break.
Once self-acceptance took hold my size inched up and this weight gain was welcomed. As I sized up, another wonderful thing happened: true romantic love entered my life. This love is unconditional, based on trust and respect, without the game playing. Size happiness has given a new meaning to the expression Size Matters.