Times are a changing. How do you successfully divorce an emotionally abusive person and/or situation? It seems so straightforward. You divorce, you cut ties, you establish new boundaries and develop new positive relationships, right? Well, kinda. You do eventually divorce, and depending on how quick and semi-equitable your divorce is a good indication of how healthy your relationship was. If your ex-spouse drags you into court for years, instead of concentrating on the bitterness of the situation and the anger, it’s imperative for you to focus on seeing the situation in a new light. Yes, you still have to respond to the legal jargon, but don’t allow yourself you get caught up in minutiae and the anger. Remember, even if your attorney is on speed dial, they are not your confidant and they get paid by the hour. The more time they spend on your case the more money it costs you. If your ex is filing motion after motion and engaging in litigation abuse seek ways to shut it down, but do not engage in all of the ridiculousness proposed. These things are designed to “rattle the cage” and appeal to your emotion so you lose reason and continue to engage. If you are divorcing a narcissist they thrive on engagement. They need you to engage. Your silence is intolerable to them and they will seek ways to reconvene communication. They are not above using the courts or your children. Times can only change if you disengage, find a way to forgive yourself, love yourself and then eventually forgive them. Forgiveness does not mean re-establishing communication or contact, it merely means for you to uncouple and unburden your heart. Concentrate on healthy new relationships and a healthy new you. This is the only way to divorce an emotionally abusive person.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong”. Mahatma Ghandi